Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
