i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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