if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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