This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
