when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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