i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
