Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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