They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
