Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
