her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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