I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize