Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
