So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
