I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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