Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have aggressive nipples.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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