I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
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She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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