I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
