that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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