I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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