I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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