I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
