I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize