..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
