don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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