so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Send help, water and tortillas.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
