Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
