She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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