jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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