Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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