I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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