I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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