Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
