they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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