Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just had sex on a roof
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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