I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
