I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
