his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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