Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
