ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
bring money and cleavage
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
