you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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