He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize