Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
