Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
