I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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