I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
