At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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