can we get nightvision for the apartment?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
