They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
