Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize