I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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