At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
