So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
