Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
