i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
