What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
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Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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