He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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