I wish I could punch you in the face.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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