Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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