Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
