my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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